Not Me Monday

What is not me monday? It is where you say you did not do the things you infact did but don't want to admit to. Click the button above to go to the original not me monday!

* I did not sleep in last tuesday after I did not push the snooze on my cell phone alarm at least 10 times and the girls most certainly did not miss the bus and I most certainly did not get up and take them to school late in my pajamas..

* hmm I am sensing a theme, last monday I too had a not me that I once again have today... No way did I leave wet clothes overnight in the dryer and they are no still there now, nope no way.

* It is impossible, I was not late to work on wednesday because I did not mistakenly think that I started at 5:30 when I was supposed to start at 5. I did not discover such discrepancy as I was driving and a light bulb went off in my head.. to which I did not check my schedule paper and say a vulgar adult word when I realized.. I was not already running late for the supposed 5:30 start because I had once again lost my keys for the second day in a row. I most certainly am not losing my brain.

* I was not late to work again on Saturday because umm.. DH (the D does not stand for dear or darling) did not forget his phone when he went to work, therefore being a man (I'm not sorry if you are a man) did not know what time I had to work. I normally do not call him to remind him, because well he is a man and can't keep track of what day it is. He was not lucky that I had to hurry off to work or he might be dead..

* There is no way that I was actually going to tell my manager the said pathetic reason above for being late so I did not instead call and say there was a Utility repair man blocking the end of my dead end street and couldn't move for 15minutes. No I do not lie, never, nope, not me.

* I did not eat Subway for lunch AND did not eat Arby's for dinner yesterday. "Fast food" twice in one day. Nope.. I eat much healthier then that..

* I did not go to work last night when I was sick because I did not want to call in sick after I was not late twice this week.